Cinnamon Toast Crunch Is Here To Invade Baseball Games And Your Nightmares


So the Miami Marlins, we can all agree that they aren't great. In fact, they're pretty bad. And, when you're pretty bad, the stadium attendance suffers. So, when the stadium attendance suffers, you have to do things to bring the fans in. That apparently includes having a giant piece of cereal sitting behind home plate.

First off, holy hell, that is a massive piece of cereal. Second, imagine forking over money for home plate seats. You get there, you sit down, get some nachos, a hot dog and a beer. You're there just vibing, siting there and taking in the view. Then all of a sudden, a giant piece of Cinnamon Toast Crunch comes down the aisle and takes up the seat directly in front of you. I'd be pissed and I'd want to fight it! But, I would lose. I mean, just look at the thing!

There is no life behind those eyes. That mouth is just a gaping black hole that is there to do one thing and one thing only. Devour your soul. That thing has a smile that only a psycho would give you before he snaps your neck. With all that in mind, I'm going to eat a different cereal from now on because, I for one, welcome our new Cinnamon Toast Crunch overlords.

The best part about all of this? Gary Cohen, the Mets broadcaster, actually thought this mega monstrosity made by General Mills was Spongebob.

God, I love the Mets.


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